It's been a while

At the request of friends going through similar hardships with their kids, I'm blogging again.  Jake was pretty much the same at school for the rest of the 2010/2011 school year.  He was constantly overstimulated and agitated at school.  What it looked like was talking out of turn, messing with things in his desk, ignoring instructions, and disobeying.  He wasn't the worst kid in the class, (which is a huge improvement) but never at HIS best. 

But things got better, much better!

The Jazz Lost... They should just quit.

Last night the Utah Jazz basketball team got crushed by the LA Lakers.  They have a great record this year, in fact they actually beat the Lakers earlier this year, highlighted by a massive dunk by little Ronny Price over a huge Lamar Odom.  I think they should just quit.  It was a bad loss.  The team was shooting badly, their rebounds were in the toilet, and they could not defend the 75% shooting of the Lakers.  I'm going to call the Miller's (owners) and tell them that they need to just give up.  In fact in practice they should shoot the ball into the stands, practice moving screens, and maybe even sit in the middle of the floor picking off the finish.  They are not worth anything now that they have lost.  Deron Williams needs to never try to score again, he should always pass the ball to the other team and just basically give up.

I had a dream...

Last night I had a dream that I was staging a rescue of a high profile prisoner.  Everyone knew him, but he was held on bad charges and didn't belong in that harsh prison.  He was to spend his life in there if I didn't rescue him.  We had to get in disguise, hide, and scheme to get out of the prison.  Once out, we faced an entire city who knew the prisoner and could stop us at any moment.  As the dream evolved, the rescue team became me and my little family.  The prisoner was my little Jake.  Every situation was anxiety filled as I hoped Jake wouldn't blow our cover.  Every person he talked to was a danger.  Jake couldn't be trusted.  He's just a kid.  But he's a kid that would gladly sabotage our efforts and send us all to the firing squad depending on his attitude at that moment.  I had to hope and pray that he wouldn't give away our cover or let things slip about our plan to escape.  I was on pins and needles at all times.  I had to constantly reassure Jake that we were on his side and that what we were doing was saving him.  I followed him wherever people asked him to go to protect our mission.  But how can I do it without arousing suspicion?  The worry and anxiety over him was too much--so I woke up.

Finding Purpose

Today I am trying a new approach.  I'm trying to see where the good is among all the junk that Jake's early trauma causes.
It's easy to see all the terrible things that this has brought to my family.  It's easy to count the money we have spent to try to help him.  It's easy to feel the stress and despair that comes.  It's harder to see the good that can come but here I go...

REPENT!!

It's amazing how Jake's journey parallels mine.  I have been trying to bring him down in the midst of this storm called elementary school.  I keep telling him to calm down and relax.  I want him to keep his faith strong and his fear at bay.  He knows that scripture reading and prayer bring the spirit, but he doesn't want to do it.  When he does he is so much better and way more calm.

The big question... Why can't I practice what I preach???