Faith

This week was really rough.  I was so super sick with some kind of cold that ached my body and mind.  I felt so alone and totally victimized.  I was alone trying to feel well enough to take care of 3 kids under 6 as well as my 8 year-old RADish.  He was okay, but also raging at times.  Jake was being his normal control freak, and wasn't letting me have an inch.  Mercy isn't in his vocab yet.
The problem with all this is that I started to feel sorry for myself and for my situation.  It's kind of ridiculous because there are so many ways in which I am blessed.  I am far more blessed than I am cursed.  I have way more things that are right in my life than things that are wrong.
After feeling sorry for myself, I was humbled and received instruction that I needed to be more grateful and more faithful.  I had to find a way to be grateful for the things I have been blessed with.  It took me a while to recognize how ungrateful I had been and also very fearful.  It took me going to our support group this Friday to be able to look back at where we were a few months ago, and where Jake is now, to realize how far we have come!  Jake is making progress, and the things we have been doing are paying off.  It's a long, hard road, but we are going down that road, one step at a time.
As fear is the opposite of faith, the Lord blessed me with faith building experiences this week.  Without going into specifics, my family is making huge decisions everyday that are going to affect us greatly.  We are doing these things purely because the Lord wants us to.  Some things are very hard and have been a struggle, but because we lean on our testimony that it is the will of our Heavenly Father, we have been acting on our faith in what is right.
The Lord wants us to trust Him.  We are on our own journey back to attachment with the Lord.  We have been separated, and now need to work our way back to Him.  I am learning over and over that I have to rely on Him, trust in Him, and have the faith necessary to do all that he asks.  I have been asked to do things that I don't fully understand, but have faith that it is what He would have me do.
The great thing about taking leaps of faith is that it feels so good!  Having the knowledge that whatever the Lord asks us to do will be the best for us, helps me feel safe.  I feel a greater capacity to do what He asks as I act on His promptings.  I have been able to do things that seemed impossible at the beginning of this journey.  As I exercise my faith it grows.  As I am faithful I am able to get through the hardest things.  I am able to know that if I do my best to obey, I will be given capacities far beyond my own.  I know this is because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  It has an enabling power to help us fulfill the will of God in our lives for the sake of all those around us.  It's amazing to see modern miracles.
I have a testimony that God lives, Jesus Christ is His son, and Jesus Christ atoned for our sins and our shortcomings.  The heavens are open to God's revelations for us here on Earth, and miracles have not ceased.  I am seeing them in my life almost daily.  If anyone has any doubt about these things, search the scriptures, pray for revelation from your Father in Heaven if this is not true.  I have this knowledge because of the revelations contained in the Book Of Mormon.  It is another testament of Jesus Christ as a companion to the Bible.   It is another resource to knowing who Jesus Christ is and what He did and does now for us here on Earth.  My faith comes from my knowledge of Him.  I have capacity because He gives it to me according to my faith in Him who gives all.  I am so blessed to have this fullness of knowledge.  The answers that most seek in life are found in the Book of Mormon.  I can do great things because I choose to truly know the Savior and follow Him.  There is no other way to make it in this life and the life to come.
I can do hard things because the Lord of us all is on my side, or I'm on His side!