For where you treasure is, there will your heart be also Matt 6:21

This Mother's day was a hard.  Jake was in respite, and I missed him this time.  I was worried for him and how his heart was.  I was worried for him and the choices he would make. Church was good, we had a missionary give his talk before he leaves in a mission.  It was about how his mother gave him the strength to go and serve the Lord.  It reminded me of why I am doing all of this.  To help Jake establish a relationship with the Lord through his relationship with me.
This great young Elder expressed his deep love for his mother who was always there for him, stood by him, helped him when he made mistakes, and taught him how to have faith in the Lord.  There was a time when I seriously questioned Jake's ability to make any good choice, feel any connection, or be honest in his dealings with others.  It used to hurt me to think of the time when Jake would be old enough to serve a mission.  I didn't think I would ever be able to prepare him because I was failing so fantastically with him as a little child.  All I wanted in those days was to "retire" as a mother and leave the life of constant sacrifice and clean-up that comes with motherhood.  My heart was in it all being over.  I wanted to escape, leave and not have to deal with all the difficult tasks.  I couldn't wait until I had no kids at home and could fill my days with activities that I wanted to do, travel and not worry about kids.
My life is not that now, I have to concentrate on my children and be there for them.  They need me and they need my testimony of prayer, the scriptures, the Spirit, and eternal families.
As I listened to this young man talk about his mother and his coming mission, I was filled with a comfort that helped me know that I was on the right track for Jake to become like this faithful Elder.  I am giving my life to help Jake know his Heavenly Father.  I'm doing it for all my children, is there anything better I could do with my time?  This is where I come to the title of this entry.  There is no other desire that should be in my heart.  My efforts should be there, my time should be there, because it is evidence of where my heart is.  Many people say that they want certain things in their life, but spend time doing everything except moving to that goal.  Where is your time and effort spent?  Is is on the things that are most important in this life according to the gospel of Christ?
Our therapist lets me know that I need to be spending time away from Jake that is nurturing to me and helps me fill my cup of energy and drive.  The only thing that I can say that works is being with others who are enriching, spending time away with my other kids, going to the temple, and serving others.  These are the things I wish to spend my away or "me time".  The good news is that most of that is what the apostles have been saying that we should be doing.  Serving, family, and temple worship.
I hope that those who read this will be able to reevaluate and see if where you spend your time is acceptable to you and your life goals.  If not, change it.  It's good to become a better you, and show your family and God where your heart is.  Don't use this as a guilt trip.  Guilt without change is not productive.  Feeling bad and doing something about it is progression and helps us become better.  Let's use this time to change for the good and do better!  I am doing it for my children, find out what is worth it for you to change and do it!