Our Discovery...

This is my sweet boy Jake when he was little.  He is now closer to 8 years old, but this is how I like to remember him.  He was curious and full of fun and laughter.  

We have been having trouble with Jake for a very long time now.  I chalked it up to his fiery personality that matches his red hair, and my lack of patience and inability to be a "good mom".   After a few years of troubled schooling and trouble at home, we looked to help in a family therapist.  We were turned on to Parenting With Love and Logic as a way to "handle" parenting in a better way.  The therapist also asked us to look into Attachment Disorder for Jake.  

At the time we didn't  find much on the subject other than some symptoms, (which Jake has most) and causes such as adoption or abuse early in life (neither being in Jakes background).  So we dismissed it, and worked hard on our Love and Logic with little success with Jake.  My husband and I have changed dramatically and our other kids seemed to get it and thrive, but Jake continued to have trouble.  

We finally looked again into Attachment disorder after a year and a half of "growing out of it" didn't happen.  This time there was so much information!  And the resident expert therapist was just around the corner from where we live.  The first thing this therapist asked was about my pregnancy with Jake from beginning to end.  I explained that I was very sick 8 out of the 9 months, gained only 10 lbs. total, had an undiagnosed liver disease, we had to stop preterm labor two times before he came 3 1/2 weeks early with the cord around his neck.  After some other questions about Jakes behavior and "symptoms" (see the link to RAD websites) it was like this man knew Jake without ever meeting him!  It was amazing!  Jake is usually very charming to strangers and acquaintances, but this man saw right through him and predicted Jakes behavior.  I was so shocked that SOMEONE knew what he was REALLY like at home.  But I thought, "No, way does he have a disorder, could it be because of the multiple spanking and punishments over the years that he as this?"  I felt so guilty, I tried to confess all of my wrongdoings as a parent in my discipline, but the therapist stopped me in my tracks.  He said, "You have given me 25  reasons why Jake would have Reactive Attachment Disorder before he was even born!"  

So this is our life, we finally know why we have had so much trouble, to get a taste of who we have been living with please check out the websites I have linked to on this blog.  It has info on causes, symptoms, and the therapy that is required.

This blog will be my documentation of our journey to heal our precious son from his broken heart.