So Jake has been pretty good the past few days. He has been pretty nice to be around. We don't have our nightly arguments about staying in his room. We have had to put alarms on his door so that he doesn't have a chance to sneak out and play or get stuff and hide it away in his room. He has been compliant with the "new regime" of not tolerance. I almost feel like I'm being lulled into a sense of security. I can still see his little tweaking of the rules and trying to be in control, but it's not half as bad as it used to be.
I don't know how things are going at school. He still doesn't have a lot of time with me when he is at school, (and it's been great for me) but I think he might need more time with me to heal our relationship so we can bond. There is a private school for RAD kids that he can go to to more appreciate his regular elementary that he loves. This school has a strict curriculum of obedience and no tolerance. It sounds harsh, but it's really helping him to know that his days of manipulation have come to an end. Jake will be able to experience that he can have a happy and safe life even with adults in control. I just have to really find the right answer for him and for me. I need time to recharge to be ready for this new way of dealing with him. I have to be on my toes and willing to let consequences do the teaching. But, he needs to feel connected with me and not be allowed to manipulate. It's so hard because all I want to do is scream, "Can't you just stop it?!!" and "Snap out of it! We love you and you can stop acting this way!" But I know that he is fundamentally backward in his thinking about the world and the people in it. We have to help him connect with me so that he can feel safe and loved. Right now he is just complying to try to get what he wants.
The hard work begins...
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