Letting the Camel's Nose in the Tent

One cold night, as an Arab sat in his tent, a camel gently thrust his nose under the flap and looked in. "Master," he said, "let me put my nose in your tent. It's cold and stormy out here." "By all means," said the Arab, "and welcome" as he turned over and went to sleep.

The Little Crap!

Oh yes, my little boy has done quite the crazy stuff this week.  I am trying to battle his "ping pong" emotions.  In the past Jake would be naughty and in his "fear brain" for extended periods of time and it took some working to get him to "shift" into being obedient and in his "trust brain".  Now he is flipping from one emotion to the next without provocation.

Playing Dumb and Being Super Sneaky

New behavior: playing dumb and super sneaky.  I guess the super sneaky part is old hat, but the asking odd questions and acting dumb is new.  His whole life he has been the smartest, most astute child.  He never needed help with anything, just figured it out himself.  He was articulate and seemed to want to know and do everything.  I used to take pride in how smart he seemed to be.

My Relief

I am so glad to be able to share what we are going through in this blog.  I sometimes wonder if it's getting the word out, or if I'm just using it as a therapy tool for myself.  Either way, I know writing is serving it's purpose.
In the beginning when I first found out about RAD, I was so resistant to look further into it because it seemed so tragic.  I had so much guilt that I might have caused it, or that I wouldn't be able to emotionally handle what could have caused it.  Because RAD is trauma based, I was so resistant because our only trauma was a very sick pregnancy...

Holland

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

Choices and Horses

Since my gratitude post was less than popular, I'll go again to Jake's unusual behavior.  This week we were able to go to horse therapy at Hoofbeats To Healing in Palmyra Utah.  Jake was so mad last Saturday he ran away three times, only did 75% of his jobs, and raged in front of a bunch of people.  He usually saves his rages for me. Then after having to restrain him in the barn he just shifted into compliance.  He later told me that he just decided to shift into his "trust brain" because he "just knew he wasn't going to win while being held"  HALLELUJAH!

Thanks...

This post is completely for gratitude.  I am grateful for all of the ways I have been prepared for this journey.  I am grateful for all for the trials that made me a stronger person.  I am grateful for struggles with family as I was growing up that kept me strong.  I see the purpose in all of the hard things in my life.