The Little Crap!

Oh yes, my little boy has done quite the crazy stuff this week.  I am trying to battle his "ping pong" emotions.  In the past Jake would be naughty and in his "fear brain" for extended periods of time and it took some working to get him to "shift" into being obedient and in his "trust brain".  Now he is flipping from one emotion to the next without provocation.
He is fine one minute and then isn't the next.  He has continued in his sneaky ways so we have had to reign him back in and keep a tighter watch on him.  So naturally he is upset that we have figured out this latest tactic of manipulation.  He tries so hard to get away with the slightest thing, and gets so mad when we are smarter than him.  I love outsmarting one who thinks he is so unstoppable!
So onto the title of this entry, we always know when we are doing a great job at being in complete control of Jake when resorts to the only thing he has complete control of: what goes in and what goes out!  Yep, Jake got put in his his room for a time-out and hated it as usual, so he tried to get out by saying he had to go to the bathroom.  We naturally told him he could wait, (until it was our time for him to go) and so he pooped on the carpet in his room.  Thus, "The little crap."  I know, it's so weird that an 8 year-old would go there, but I have to remember that this is a very obvious sign that he is suffering from a disorder that would not allow him to let go of his control and trust that we know what is best for him.  The good news is that what Jake does he has to make right, so he had to clean up his room and make the carpet clean and right.  I have had to let go of getting mad over things and just let the consequences teach Jake the lessons he needs to learn.
At this point Jake has some tools to help him heal and he is choosing to do things that hurt his heart and keep him in a state of fear.  In a priesthood blessing Jake was instructed to not let his thoughts turn to actions by dwelling on them.  That he should discard them like a piece of trash and just as easily.  I think that Jake's journey is one that parallels our lives here on Earth.  I have said many times before that he is learning how to trust and love his parents completely.  Aren't we all here to learn to trust and love God completely?  Jake's lesson and instruction to cast away bad thoughts before they turn to action is so wise and directly from our Heavenly Father.  I know that when I am able to cast away those things that are bad for me before I act on them, I am a far happier and more obedient daughter of God.  I feel better, am in tune with the Lord, and am far more capable of doing good in this world.  I am so grateful for my son and his willingness to come down to Earth in our family with this trial so that our family can be refined and cleansed as we turn to the Lord for help, guidance and healing.  It's hard most of the time to have this perspective.  Most of the time I want to run and hide from it all.  But I know that as long as I am grateful to the Lord and have faith that God will help me and Christ will make up the gap in my abilities then I am okay, and little craps don't bother me that much. ;)