Tuseday, Updated...

Ok, if you didn't read my last entry, go there and read it first.  I wrote that entry Tuesday morning.  This entry is to tell the rest of last Tuesday's story.  It's a good one, involving police!
I was anticipting some type of trouble last Tuesday because Jake can't obey very long without some type of blow up.  I have been waiting patiently for him to snap out of this funk that he is in, so everytime he is even semi-compliant I jump too quickly to push him.  Tuesday, Jake was being so good in the morning.  He was quick to obey, (with what little I asked like, sit, stay, eat, clean up plate, etc.) and pleasant to be with.  So I made a cardinal mistake, I asked him to go pick up dog poop in the yard.  It was a risk, but it is something he has done many times before.  Last time he did it he lost it and was able to pull it together before it was all done.  I was hopefull, too hopefull.
Jake decided to twist things to satisfy his need for control. He didn't just scoop poop into the bucket, he took all the snow around it which quickly filled his bag and bucket.  So he came and asked for another bag, which I refused because I know better than to believe that what was out there couldn't fit in one bag.  This was too much.  He stomped off, threw a few tennis balls and had a little tamtrum.  He then came back and asked one more time, and I let him know that I knew he was smart enough to figure it out.
He dumped his poop bag and then came to yell at me because, "now it's all in little pieces, because you made me do that!!"  I calmly let him know that it wasn't my fault, I didn't scoop snow or dump the bag.  Naturally, Jake ran and jumped the fence. As I watched him scale the fence, I let him know that I wasn't coming after him because my sick baby was asleep, so I'd have to call the police.  He looked at me and jumped down to the other side of the fence.  I immediatly got on the phone to the police department.
Yep, I am calling the police to come get my defiant, attention-seeking, eight year old son.  Last time, (as you may remember) was a police disaster.  So this time I asked to have the officers assigned if they would call me and speak to me before they got Jake.  I tried my hardest to explain that this child will absolutely LOVE IT if he gets to charm and manipulate the officer into being nice to him.  He is running and loves to run because it worked out so great last time (see blog entry from Sept).  I tried to explain that he doesn't understand how dangerous running is, and that he really needs to be scared into not doing it ever again.
After an hour of Jake being gone, Officer Roseman, (I remembered his name so I can talk to him next time Jake runs) walked Jake to the door and said, "Yeah, Jake and I talked and he gave me his word that he wouldn't do it again, " then to Jake, "right, buddy?"  Oh, Jake gave his best innocent-eyed head nod and the officer was on his way.  I really wanted to go tell the officer that he had not been hard enough, but I was affraid of a call from DCSF later for asking the officer to just "ruff him up a bit" (not really).  Jake had to be detoxed from his naughty "binge" just like an alcoholic needs rehab after a night of drinking.  We do this by putting him in his room where there is very little stimulus and he can relax his mind and so can I.  He spent Wednesday in his room as well.  Once in a while I would surprise him with a delicious peannut butter sandwitch or some carrots and plenty of drinks.  He still wasn't great because every once in a while he'd yell through the door some demand for me to fulfill.
All this shows is that Jake is not with it enough to submit and feel good.  He just wants to fight and stay nasty inside.  It's confusing because it's so opposite of what normal kids want.  His behavior is so extreme, yet he looks fine if others say hi, or give him a hug.
We have experienced people who just say, "You have a great kid there."  And we agree, it's just hidden by all the defiance, mistrust, and manipulation.  They say to us, "Are you sure?  Maybe you are just wanting him to be perfect, when he's just a kid." We get lots of people who don't do any research or make any effort to understand, they just see the outside of Jake which is charming, chatty, engaging, smart, knows how to get what he wants, and normal.  What we see is far different.  What I wish those close to us would understand is that we would absolutely choose to NOT do all this if there was a choice.  We have so much assurance that this is the correct diagnosis.  Not only do we have 3-4 therapists and experts in this field that have confirmed the diagnosis, but we have recieved confirmation from God that this is correct.  After years of searching for answers and doing much self-reflection and prayer, we know that this is the right direction we need to take our family.
Because seriously, would I put myself through such pain and agony, such heartache and sorrow if I didn't know this was right?  I sertainly wouldn't be throwing the kind of money this requires if I wasn't sure.  Who spends thousands of dollars a month on a fleeting theory for their kid?  I wouldn't, and never have.  What I wish people would do is look at me and my husband's life history and trust that we would always consult with the Lord especially when it comes to our kids.  We don't WANT this life, if I could just live a normal life of kid's school, sports, homework, friends, vacations, and family outings I WOULD!!!  I would do anything to change what this is.  That is EXACTLY why we are doing it all, so that Jake can be healed and he can have a normal life full of love and trust.  I am sacrificing so much for this child because I love him.  I love him enough to sacrifice my life for the duration.  I wouldn't do all of this unless I was sure it was the right thing for Jake.
But with all that said, I don't need others to approve of what we are doing.  It would be nice to not have that distraction of the doubters, but honsetly I know without a doubt that we are going to heal Jake with the help of God and his son Jesus Christ.  I HAVE NO DOUBT! (take that! ;) )