I have to say that this is a wild ride! Two days ago was crazy insanity and broken houses. Monday's attitude came as a big surprise. Jake decided to be somewhat compliant. WOW! I had no idea
that Jake had the capacity to obey during all of this crud. He decided to obey at school and at home. He finished the window well and was very pleasant all of Monday. He even woke up pleasant this morning. I decided to keep him home from school because he was being so good that I wanted to spend some quality time with him. We had to run errands today so I had put off his clean up of the drywall he pulverized Sunday. So after carpools and such, I calmly asked Jake to finish picking up the tiny pieces of drywall and that I would shut his door so he could be safe. An hour and a half later he was ready for me to check his work. I knew there was something not quite right when he took so long. I was so right. He wasn't done, and had found some pencil lead and drew some new pictures all over his walls. And because he wasn't really done and I was leaving his room, he decided to flip out!
It really is his decision to flip out royally instead of using words to express his feelings. He went and acted out in his fight or flight brain instead of his thinking and reasoning brain.
It is so hard to have him switch so quickly into a crazy rage after being so sweet just the moment before. It's Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. For me it's emotionally difficult because I get my hopes up to have them thrashed every time. Although it's hard, I know it's progress. That's what I hang on to to get through it all. I also have a friend who wrote a book based on her struggle with her adopted daughter with RAD, it's called Love Lessons by Jodi Bean and her website is www.findinghopefoundation.com. She gives me strength to get through all the ups and downs. Check her site out!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
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Sorry sista my dog dug a huge hole in our carpet. In a spot that can not be covered by furniture and my youngest colored all over the walls. Then if you add in that my daughter took scissors to the couch cushions I have you beat in the destruction of the home department. I think if you keep these blogs up you might have a book in the making. I would buy it!
ReplyDeleteGood for you Nicole for blogging about what caregivers and families of RAD-kids go through daily/nightly. Keep it up! The more brave souls (who are in the trenches with children with this very real diagnosis) speak up, the better. Right now others who do not personally experience this roller coaster journey often think it is so "rare", "unfathomable", "made-up" or "unbelievable".
ReplyDeleteI hope by creating more awareness of this, that there will be more understanding, support and healing for not only the child, but for the courageous caregivers and siblings that walk this arduous and isolating road with him/her.
It is always sad and strange that the child with the severe behaviors wreaking havoc on the family dynamic seem to be the only family member whose well-being is at the forefront of every stranger/extended family member.
It is disconcerting that it is the caregivers/parents and siblings of these children who catch the receiving brunt of the glares and painful judgements. Each member of the family is just as important as the "RAD-ish", and they too need love and to be recognized for their painstaking efforts to "keep it together" when all about them is raging.
Good luck, and thank you!