Worse behavior=Progress, so they say...

This week has been a huge challenge.  Jake has been very resistant to any instruction or compliance.  He ran away last night, (not far) but refused to be obedient in any way.  It's so very heart breaking when we got so close this weekend.
I am told that this is what happens when we get close to connecting and getting real feelings out.  I really attribute it to Jake getting close to the spirit and coming very close to feeling the influence of the Lord.  Because the love of God is so pure and strong it really has its affect on Jake who shuns love and affection.  I keep feeling that it's the constant love of God that will really make the difference in this process.  We are trying hard to get Jake more spiritual experiences so that he can really feel what true love feels like.  This morning before school I played Elder Uchtdorf's talk called "Love of God" (here is the link, I hope it works)  GC_2009_10_113_UchtdorfDF___eng_.mp3
This was a talk in the October, 2009 LDS General Conference.  This talk was about the love of God and how we are given the first and second great commandments to love God with all our heart and love our neighbors as ourselves.  In this talk Elder Uchtdorf testifies that God knows us and he loves us.  He answers our prayers and wants us to know and love him.
I know that Jake felt the spirit as I also testified that love is the great commandment and that God knows Jake and all of his struggles and will answer his prayers.  I also testified, as did Elder Uchtdorf, that we can learn to love God by following his commandments and that obedience will become a joy as we learn to love God.  I tried to equate that to Jake's love for his parents.  If he choses to obey, he will learn how to love.
I was so punished for that one!!!  Jake's teachers at school texted me half way through the day hoping that I was really taking care of myself while Jake was gone because he is really on one. YAY!  I just know that if I keep the truths of the gospel close to Jake that he will keep experiencing the influence of a perfect Heavenly Father and be able to open his heart as he feels it over and over again.  It's the only way I know to open his heart.  Because I know that I can trust in the perfect parent to give me the perfect solutions to this incredibly difficult situation.
I know God lives and knows his children.  I have so much comfort in this knowledge.  God is my father in heaven and loves me and my son, he will help us through all of this in a very literal way.  I pray and receive instruction and peace daily.  I know it's true!